Baby Loss, Daily, Joshua, Parenting After Loss

Just Barely

I’m barely hanging on.

I know this.  It’s been like this for months.  The weather got cold and suddenly it felt like February 22nd all over again.  I feel like I’m stuck in my own awful version of Groundhog Day.  Reliving those moments over and over again every time I’m alone for a minute.

I cry in the shower.  I sob in the car.  I just can’t shut my mind off no matter how hard I try to refocus.

I am so thankful for our beautiful daughter, but that doesn’t change the fact that I miss our son with every breath I take.

I’m sure its the rapidly approaching winter and the holidays that it brings with it that have worn me down.

Thanksgiving 2 years ago was the day we announced that we were having a boy. This Christmas has me acutely aware of what we are missing.

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