Daily

Constant Questions

I can’t stop asking why…

I know life isn’t fair.

I know we don’t always get what we want.

I know that even if we do everything right that doesn’t guarantee a good outcome.

I know God is in control.

I know that everything happens for a reason.

But none of that makes this any easier…

The questions keep rolling through my brain.  Weighing me down.  The constant nagging knowledge that a doctor made a mistake.  That things weren’t done the way they should have been.  Would it have made a difference?  If we had been at the hospital we were supposed to be at, if we would have had a different doctor, if the neonatologist hadn’t been snowed in and away from the hospital, if we would have just waited one more day…

Would any of it made a difference?

Would Joshua still be here today?

Maybe…

Maybe not.

I don’t know.  I suppose I never will know the answers.  Even if I did, I’m not sure I could live with that truth.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Constant Questions”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s