“I will not let the world look at me with pity and think….look what her daughter/son has done to her…..may they instead look at me in awe and think…..look what her daughter/son has helped her become.” – Sweet Grace Ministries
I have talked a lot lately about wanting to make something out of all of this pain. Last week I was interviewed by the local news about pre-eclampsia and our loss. For anyone that really knows me, you know that this was a big step outside of my comfort zone. Saturday we walked in the Promise Walk to help raise awareness and money to support research for pre-eclampsia. This is only the beginning…
Here’s what’s next.
There is a film that is, hopefully, coming out soon, but it needs your help. Take 4 minutes and watch this video… I’ll wait.
I haven’t seen this movie yet, so it is hard to tell you that you have to watch it because it has such great writing or such great performances, but what I can tell you is the message of this movie is amazing.
The heart of this film, Return to Zero, is quite simply about breaking the silence.
Too many times people are afraid to talk about the loss of a child. They don’t want to upset anyone. They don’t want to make those around them sad. People around them don’t bring it up, because they are afraid of making them remember something that they never could forget in the first place. This film is about giving people something to talk about. It’s about telling the real story of what child loss can do to a family, a marriage, a person. It is about bringing child loss into a format that people are comfortable talking about.
In order for this film to be seen, it needs our help. I have stepped up to be a local leader. Part of my job is getting 100 of you to sign a pledge saying that you will go see Return to Zero on opening weekend (no date is currently set – so no excuses). That’s it. You don’t have to pledge any money. You don’t have to do anything other than say, “yes, I will go see this movie.”
This movie has the potential to make a huge impact for our loss community. It is about breaking the silence of child loss.
If you have lost a child due to miscarriage, still birth, or early infant death.
If you have had the hope of having a child be stolen from you by infertility.
If you have lost a child in anyway, whether they were 5 or 55.
No parent should ever have to bare the weight of grieving their child alone.
If you have a friend or family member who is without a child today – don’t be afraid to mention their child’s name. You might bring a tear to their eye, but you will fill their heart with love knowing that they are not in this thing alone.
Take the Pledge. – Don’t forget to put down that I’m your local leader – Victoria Denney.
When we lost Joshua, it was public. Everyone knew we were expecting. Everyone was excited for us. When he was born the prayers and congratulations came from everywhere, many from people we’ve never even met. Then two days later, when we had to say goodbye to him, and I was still get texts, messages, voicemails, and emails saying congratulations, I had to make them stop, so we told everyone that we lost him. It was all very public. How do you write a Facebook status announcing the death of your child 36 hours after you had just announced his arrival? It sucked. But, I suppose this is a sign of our generation. We are all over Twitter, Facebook, Blogs, and more. We open up our lives to people that, often, we barely know. I’ve chosen to bare my heart and my soul through writing on this blog. I’ve expressed my pain, my frustrations, my grief, my sorrow, my daily struggles, my life to you all. In doing this, I’ve found that there are so many of you out there that have this same hurt. After losing Josh, we heard so many of our friends and even some of our family come out with stories of their own losses. I had friends who had gone through a still birth, and I didn’t even know about it.
We were blessed to have 36 hours with Joshua breathing with us here on earth. We know not everyone is as lucky. For that reason, I am a local leader. This film, Return to Zero, needs to be seen. Child loss hurts, it shakes your trust and faith in everything, it breaks your heart, and rips the foundation out from beneath your feet. Women and men have been silent for too long about the pain of losing a child by miscarriage, still birth, or early infant death and even the pain and heartbreak of infertility. This film is helping to bring a voice to the sorrow and grief. It needs to be seen. Please help me #SayItOutLoud (That’s a link to another really awesome project that you should check out).