Daily

Spring is Coming

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I know the official start of Spring has already come and gone, but as I spent most of yesterday writing the date down as February 4th, clearly I’m still stuck in winter.  Somewhere between the night Josh was born and the day after Kansas City received about a foot of snow (this is the doctor’s excuse for why we weren’t transferred to the proper hospital, but that is a story for another day).  The day I finally came home we received another foot of snow.  There was still a thick blanket of snow covering the ground the day we buried our son.  I really hate the snow.

There was so much snow that it seemed as if it would never melt and that we would be stuck inside our house forever.  At the same time I was kind of okay with that.  I didn’t want to leave the safety of my home and my husband, but of course the sun came out eventually.  The snow melted eventually.  I can even see the flowers starting to peek their heads up in our backyard and the jonquils along the side of the house have all bloomed bright and yellow.  Life continued on.

Yesterday, I  took a walk at the park on my lunch break.  I took the time to notice every detail of the trees as they were starting to bud.  The sun was shining bright and the day was beautiful.  I’ve always been able to look at nature and see the beauty of God’s creation.  It always amazes me how everything can look so completely brown and dead and in a matter of days everything is green and blooming again.  It really is an amazing thing that most people don’t even seem to notice.  Every Spring God brings the whole earth back to life – the grass grows green, the leaves reappear on the trees, the birds chirp outside our windows, and the flowers begin to bloom.

Right now I feel like the season of life that I am in is much like Winter.  It is cold, dark, and desolate.  Oh, but I know that Spring is coming.  Spring is coming and with it new life will appear.  Our lives will never be the same.  We have been forever changed by this season that we are in.  Our hearts are softer, more fragile.  My body is a little scarred (frankly so is my heart).  Joshua will forever be a part of us, and that ache for him will never go away.  But Spring is coming in our lives.  We are drawing closer to each other, to our families, and to God.  Something beautiful will be made from this mess.  I trust my God enough to know that to be true.

Spring is Coming – Steven Curtis Chapman

We planted the seed while the tears of our grief soaked the ground
The sky lost its sun, and the world lost its green to lifeless brown
Now the chilling wind has turned the earth hard as stone
And silently seed rise beneath ice and snow

And my heart’s heavy now
But I’m not letting go of this hope I have that tells me

Spring is coming, Spring is coming
And all we’ve been hoping and longing for soon will appear
Spring is coming, Spring is coming
It won’t be long now, it’s just about here

Hear the birds start to sing
Feel the life in the breeze
Watch the ice melt away
The kids are coming out to play

Feel the sun on your skin
Growing strong and warm again
Watch the ground: there’s something moving
Something is breaking through
New life is breaking through

Spring is coming, Spring is coming
And all we’ve been hoping and longing for soon will appear
Spring is coming, Spring is coming
And it won’t be long now, it’s just about here

Spring is coming, Spring is coming
(Out of these ashes, beauty will rise)
And all we’ve been hoping and longing for soon will appear
(Sorrow will be turned to joy)
Spring is coming, Spring is coming
(All we hoped for soon will appear)
It won’t be long now, it’s just about here
(Out of the dark clouds, beauty will shine)
(All above in heaven, rejoice)
(Spring is coming soon)
(Spring is coming soon)

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