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Mourning the Memories

I am the type of person that keeps things.  I have mentioned this before.  I keep old letters and photographs.  I save ticket stubs and greeting cards.  This is great when I want to take a little walk down memory lane, or I want to make a scrapbook from my sophomore year of high school.  It is not so great when I randomly stumble upon a box full of cards from my high school graduation late at night and begin reading them – alone.

I found the card from my grandma and even her signature made me cry.  I found the card from my neighbor that passed away – the one I knew and loved dearly like a second grandmother.  I read the words my great aunt wrote about how special I was to her, and the one that had my great uncle’s name on it.  I saw the one that had my ex-boyfriend’s little brother’s name on it – the little boy that drowned three years ago this December.

I couldn’t stop crying.  I couldn’t stop reading.  I was so glad that I had saved these things.  That I still had that little piece of them to go along with my memories – just in case my memories ever began to fade.

It has been five years since I graduated high school.  In that time there have been over 10 funerals – 7 for friends under the age of 25.  I think I’m losing count.  I would say that I’m becoming numb to it all, but the truth is I still hurt for each of them everyday.

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3 thoughts on “Mourning the Memories”

  1. That is really sad. :( I’m not sure what to say.. It’s hard expressing sympathy over the internet but I truly am sorry for all the pain you must have felt and all the suffering you must have bee through.:( Like you, I enjoy keeping things and being able to look back at all the memories. It can definitely be hard to do that sometimes, though, but I usually find it comforting in a way when I can look back at things. It’s better to remember than to not, in my opinion.. Even if the memories are painful.

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  2. that is just too many funerals for someone your age to have been to. You should definitely treasure all the things you have saved. It’s always nice to have bittersweet memories, because at least they can take the edge off the missing part for awhile.Lots of hugs!

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