When I read other people’s blogs and journals I begin to feel like I know them. It is a bit like watching a favorite television show or movie. You become attached to the characters. You laugh with them, you cry with them, and on some days you mourn with them.
Today, most of us seem to be mourning with Deb and SWLF. I don’t know much about Nikki – I didn’t know anything about Sarah. I’ve only recently begun reading Deb’s site and following her life and story, but today I cried as I visited her cheerfully pink site. Today I mourn the loss of Nikki with her. From my knowledge Nikki was an amazing women, and she was killed while doing some amazingly selfless work. She is the kind of person I like to know in real life.
She is now at peace – and with Sarah – but that never does ease the pain for those she left behind. It is sad for me to read about, but I know that her family and her friends are utterly heartbroken. There are no words that take away that kind of pain. I wish there were, because I would say them to each and everyone of you, but it doesn’t work like that. There are no answers to the questions of why her? why now? The answers don’t exist, and if they did – it wouldn’t take away the hurt you feel at being left here without her.
I’ve been the one too many times that is left wondering why? Time helps, but it doesn’t ever fully heal the hurt. Life goes on even when you don’t want it to. There are times when the world feels like it is caving in – that there is no way you can go on without your loved one by your side, and it is in those moments that it is important to cry, and let yourself hurt. Let yourself feel the pain, because it is usually in those moments that you can feel the one you love whisper in your ear that everything is going to be okay.