Ever since high school I have been writing these letters to my niece. For her birthday, Christmas, Tuesday, basically anytime something significant happened in my life I would write about, in a ‘here is my experience’ advice kind of way. My idea is to give them to her either as she starts high school or as she goes through a similar experience. Anyways the following is one such letter. It is written in a random listing of thoughts sort of way.
Life sucks. It’s hard and it will screw you over if you allow it to. People aren’t always honest. Things aren’t always the way they seem at first glance.
The nicest people are often the ones you won’t associate with because you don’t think they are good enough to be your friend. Friends will come friends will go. Hang on to the good ones. There aren’t many around. Guys are jerks, not all, but enough of them. There’s a quote that says “a man is not worth your tears, and the one who is won’t make you cry.” That’s true. I never realized how true it was until now. They will tell you they love you and yeah sometimes, they mean it, but other times not. Sometimes the “I love you” is simply spoken to see how far that will take them.
Don’t let a simple “I love you” rush you into something that you know you will regret in the morning.
Learn to live. Live for the moment, not in the past, not for the future, but for this very second, this very moment. You are only this age once in your life, don’t waste it, don’t abuse it, and don’t let it pass you by. Love hurts. After it’s gone, you miss it more than you thought you ever could. Don’t take it for granted or anything else for that matter. You really don’t ever know what you got until it’s gone.
Love is wonderful. you can feel like you are 100 ft. above the earth just remember there’s a long way down and be careful not to fall too fast. When you do fall from love or friends or life, rest awhile then get back up. It’s the only way to ease the pain.
Don’t be afraid to cry. It’s good for you. It makes you real. Remember the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, when the rabbit cried, that is when he truly became real. It is the pain, the sadness, the tears that make us human. They make us real. Cry for what you have lost, cry for the hurt you feel, cry for what others have lost, cry for hurt others feel. Cry because of a bad grade, a bad friend, some bad advice you mistakenly took, a bad hair day, and realize that it is okay. It is okay to cry for absolutely any reason, and for absolutely no reason at all. On the other hand, don’t forget to laugh for absolutely any reason, and for absolutely no reason at all.
Every once in awhile step outside of yourself, and evaluate your life. Are you where you want to be, are you the person you want to be? Set your goals, and don’t ever lose sight of them, because once you do it can be difficult to get back to them, and they can be too easily forgotten.
When I was thirteen, one of my friends told me, "if you never let anything out and never cry and you always hold everything thing in and only cry on the inside after awhile you’ll mold." Silly, I know, but still some of the best advice I was ever given.
Realize that others do care. Also realize that you may be surprised by who it is that cares. Who you think is your best friend maybe the one stabbing you in the back, and the one you always shun, because their hair isn’t right or their clothes aren’t the latest style, that maybe the one person that is willing to hear your problem, and give you some compassionate advice.
Don’t judge others. Realize you aren’t perfect, and so you shouldn’t expect anyone else to be. Leave the judging up to God and those in the black robes with the gavels. Parents are annoying and not always right. Nevertheless, they have good points every once in awhile. So listen. Don’t always agree but consider it. They mean well, they love you, and they only want what is best for you. Let them be apart of your life, don’t shut them out. One day you may really need them, and if you have spent all your energy shutting them out and letting them know you don’t need them, it will be hard to ask for help. Make it easy on yourself, by taking it easy on them. Life will hurt you, heal you, make you laugh, and make you cry. However, never be afraid to live and learn. Learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. Have fun living.